good atlas

I was late into the scene. Everyone I know that’s my age has memories of the static teetering of the dial-up, of the chirpy Eh-Oh! of ICQ. Those were not my experiences of the internet.

My sister and I finally got our access to the internet in 2006. One of the first things I did was set up an email address with Hotmail. Fifteen-year-old Lilly thought that krap_morekrap79@hotmail.com would make for a witty email.

Then, the internet was a delightful, expansive space to be in. It was a where I discovered my favourite bands, downloaded (pirated) songs and burned them into mixtapes complete with self-designed album art. It was where I discovered drawn.ca  and flickr. I learned about art, and I learned to love it. I wanted to be a creator or artist of some kind.

Sometime in college, I came a upon a website that had a collection of user-generated audio files tagged with locations. Most of them came with a photo. In each audio file, was a 1 minute or more sound clip of everyday spaces: A balcony in Spain, a bustling street in Vietnam. The sound of birds, traffic, and rain coalescing into daydream; the buzz and blur of conversations in a crowded café; the rumbling commute on a bus, or announcements on a train in NYC or Pasadena or places I have never heard of but have come to know so intimately through sound.

The next day, I went out to a nearby park, with a notebook and recorder in my hand. I sat atop a skateboard station and recorded everything.

The internet made me fall in love the world.

—

Close to two decades later and I find myself deflated by the internet. I feel choked by algorithms. I see more brands and advertisements than I see stories from my friends. All of which flit by in seconds. Mindlessly, I scroll through Netflix, inundated by the nothingness of all that it offers. I am looking for something. Something delightful. But Googling “inspirational websites” or “art” and “artists” leads me nowhere. I pour my bored and tired hours into Instagram, filling up interstitial minutes with things I didn’t want to consume in the first place, but here I am.

Brewster Kahler says it right: How did we get from pages to feeds? The latter reminding me of animal feed; shoving cooped and drugged-up animal faces into the load of which is mess and masses of food they didn’t want to consume in the first place, yet mindlessly consuming them like they have no other choice.

Walking Through the Internet

When was the last time you experienced awe on the internet?

It’s not difficult to find moments of deep joy in the natural and physical world. I often know where to begin even if they required some effort. At home: Brew a cup of coffee over the stovetop, or tea when the sun is down. Play some music or have an impromptu karaoke session with my partner. Read a book. Write. Make art. Play music. Have friends over for conversation, board games or for no reason at all. Outside: Answer the call to walk in the forest, around the neighbourhood, or in the city but stay away from malls. Explore a small town. Or a café. Kai kai with your loved ones. Go to a park, preferably in the evenings when the sun is less merciless. 

On the internet, where do we look for experiences of deep joy?

I haven’t thought about this consciously for a while. But I think the same devotion to meaning, attention to the present and the desire for connection and beauty should ground our (privileged) existence on the internet as much as it does in the physical world.

—

Lately, I have found myself delighted by the internet again.

I am realizing that to experience awe on the internet is to begin with two fundamentals: Intention and attention. About intentionally paying attention to how we take up space online and what it means to pay attention there too. I think we have to look for what we want and forage there, forge a path and walk through it, exploring it with the same curiosity as we did before.

I am thankful for the pockets of online communities and individuals who have tended the garden of the internet. People who have created beautiful spaces that subvert the status quo by creating and curating things for the honest and humble purpose of sharing beauty.

If you ever find yourself in those spaces, thread that path and plant something beautiful there too.

The (Internet) Search Begins with Yourself

Words by Khoe May Li. Poster designed by Lilly ©

1. Start with what interests you. Even if it is ill-defined and nebulous. I stumbled upon many beautiful corners of the internet because I started with an intention of learning about something that interested me. In this case, it is Web3 and Blockchain. I didn’t know a thing about it, but that itself was what interested me – this whole other reality and body of knowledge that was at first daunting. But the more I read about it, the more I understood, and it became less daunting the more I threaded the path. It became exciting and enjoyable!
2. Along that path, pay attention to what you love. When I go for walks, some things catch my attention more than others: Variegated leaves, plants growing out of cracked cement, how people use their gardens for different purposes. Paying attention to these things was a delightful experience. Same goes for the internet. I can’t be bothered about the DeFi / crypto investment space. But I found myself drawn to the philosophical, political and social aspects of Web3 spaces. About how technologists were using Web3 principles and protocols to transform what it means to subvert the status quo. Fun stuff, to me at least.
3. Embrace the cringe. And that means the cringe of not knowing anything and everything, the cringe of creating and sharing something (I think is) beautiful. I guess that’s why I’m writing this.
4. Tend to your garden that is the internet. I’ve been in two minds about creating and posting things on the internet. For the past few years, I held back mainly because I felt bombarded with too much content. This meant that I didn’t want to add to the pot and I felt like even if I did, it meant nothing. Or rather, what was the point? Maybe if I tended to this space that I have, I will approach things differently: With intention and attention. And with the joy of connecting to communities in a meaningful way. I don’t know. I’m still learning.

My Corner of A Tender Internet Space Looks A Little Like This

I created the Open Source page to share my growing list of stories, web stuff, art stuff that I found expansive.

But here’s another list. For my own keepsake and hopefully, you’ll find some delight in them too.

#1 How Art Can Transform the Internet by NerdWriter

#2 There’s No Such Thing as a Free Watch by Jenny Odell

#3 Michelle Huang trained an ai chatbot on her childhood journal entries – so that she could engage in real-time dialogue with her “inner child”

#4 Internet art as curation. A beautiful collection by Palesors.

#5 Compost, an online zine on taking back the web, founded by Mai Ishikawa Sutton.

#6 Jazz + Cinema + Humanity. Filmed on a street in Vietnam.

#7 Living Systems Grow from Simple Seeds by Gordon Brander

Photo: Life growing from a rat trap.